the sandwich generation and compassion fatigue

WHO IS THE SANDWICH GENERATION?

You are if you cared for your elderly parents while also caring for your children. You were the glue that held everything in place, made sure none of the pieces were dropped, and in the end all the puzzle pieces fit nicely together so you had a perfect picture. Well, if the world were perfect, that is the way it would be.

As a parent and caregiver of a survivor of a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I can tell you that putting together half the puzzle took many years. Even today I find that what I put together yesterday, has fallen to the floor today, and I have to pick up the dropped pieces and rebuild.

Being a caregiver calls upon each of us to dig deep when we are tired, achy, and plum worn out, to find that extra dose of compassion for our loved one. When we think we can't do just one more thing, or refrain from snapping at them one more time, we must find one more drop of loving kindness. Most times, we do. But then...

WE MESS UP.

We DO snap. We GIVE UP on what we want for ourselves. We give up on our sense of self to give our loved ones what they need in that moment. Then we give in. We forego our own needs for nurturing and struggle with our burdens to give others what they need. We finally have a label that fits our situation.

COMPASSION FATIGUE

It's the real thing. And there are real solutions.

STEP ONE:

STOP. Stop DOING

STEP TWO:

TAKE FIVE: Five minutes. Five breaths. Five sips of water or other decaffeinated beverage. It's not time to rev the engines. It's time to put your engine in park.

STEP THREE:

BE STILL: LISTEN to your own body. Do a body scan. Notice where any sensations tell you how tired you are: shoulder stress, headaches, back pain. You know where your body is most vulnerable. Feel it. Listen to it. If need be, take a nap or better still, meditate. In short, the solution in that moment is to

STOP DOING AND START BEING.

EASIER SAID THAN DONE. But it is a starting point.

We as caregivers must find ways to BALANCE SELF-CARE with our role as caring for another. And nothing beats fatigue like rest. So,

REST. RESET. Then RESUME.

Your body and mind will thank you for it.

GO GUTSY NOW!